A Trip Down the Lazy River

Okay, so you’re either out shopping or hanging around your boyfriend whining while he’s watching football.  Enough of that, you want to spend time with him, not away from him, right?  It’s time to get off that bench and into the game.  I’m going to give you a crash course in all things NFL, and next time you’re hanging with the boys feeling left out, you can throw in a few choice facts and blow those sissy- maries away. 

Now’s the time to get the low-down as the season starts with the NFL draft, which coincidentally begins tonight. You’ve been hearing your boy chatting about the “draft,” for months now, but what is it exactly?   The NFL Draft, simply put, is selection of all the top college football players, held annually in New York City, where the 32 NFL teams select new players, and is their main source of recruitment.  The team with the worst season –meaning they lost a shit-load of games- gets to go first, then second worst team, then third, and so forth.  The team that won the Super Bowl (you know that big final game, where you get to eat a lot) gets last pick.  Think back to grade school, when the captains (the NFL in this case) chose players for dodge ball.  Super stud always went first.

Once they have each had a selection, they start again.  The initial selection is called “first round,” moving on to second round… and third… you get the idea.  Of course the “first round draft picks,” receive most of the attention, with names like Cam Newton, Patrick Peterson, Marcell Dareus, and Von Miller being batted around like a birdie at a badminton tournament.  You might want to familiarize yourself with the top 32…remember there are 32 NFL teams picking….ESPN offers a complete listing. Teams not only chose players by need (they have a weak defense, so better grab a few choice linemen) or potential – that guy is too good to let go!

It’s a big night for these college boys, with a lot of pre-event partying and plenty of jitters, as they play the waiting game, although obviously, they know what teams are really interested in them beforehand.  This year the Carolina Panthers are going to be making the first pick, with a 2-14 record.  By the way, WINS come first when listing win/loss record, with LOSSES following.  The Panthers are expected to pick quarterback, Cam Newton, the Heisman trophy winner.  Okay, just so you know the Heisman trophy is awarded to the best overall college player and it is a very big deal! Watch the draft this weekend, and we’ll talk about who chose who, and what exactly that means for each NFL team next time.  Another FYI, just because a super-star gets picked in the first round, doesn’t mean he’ll be successful. By the same token, if he gets chosen in later rounds, he’s not destined to be a bench warmer – Tom Brady, (you know that hot guy married to Victoria’s Secret Model, Gisele) was chosen in the fifth round.  In some ways, it’s a crap shoot!