A Trip Down the Lazy River

Every year, I get caught up in the those singing competition shows! I’m one of the first texting 800 numbers with my fav’s number, as he or she frantically gives us the finger, letting us know to dial 1! I wait with baited breath as they announce the winners! I remember being in such a turmoil about whether David Archuelta would win or not! Not to mention that other cute little guy from “American Idol” – I don’t even remember his name – but I desperately wanted to hear it called out each week. Recently I tried to remember who actually HAD won each year, and found it easier to name the losers… Are YOU a victim of winner amnesia as well? I mean aside from Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, who else do we remember from AI?

A few seasons back I moved from an American Idol devotee to a “The Voice” convert; coincidentally after I had spied a naked pic of Adam Levine. :/ I became acquainted with Blake Shelton, a seemingly country bumpkin… with enormous sex appeal. Lord that man is tall and handsome- and has big bones!  Aye ay I! … Anyway, I’ve gotten a little off track, but I wanted to set the stage. I got to thinking about the… talent. Did I even remember who won the last two ‘The Voice’ competitions? About the same time, I’m buzzing around in my car  listening to Taylor Swift chortling about another guy who did her wrong, when… again…I got to thinking… how far would Taylor go on those shows?

I suddenly realized that Swift. the queen of teen anguish pop, with a gillion awards, would probably not even make it into the top 20.  Christina or Britney would surely be bashing her awkward moves, and her lack of range, while Simon would just be brutal about her pitchy-ness. Never mind if Justin Bieber threw his weight (125 lbs) around on stage, he would be out of the top 30 toot suite!  How can this be??  But it is.

So who wins these talent shows and why doesn’t their extraordinary popularity carry through into the real world? It boils down to this – Those contestants who have extreme range, hitting notes from low to amazing heights creating a dramatic, theatrical performance, while igniting that emotional spot in the audience’s hearts, WIN. You remember where you were and who you liked when that song was popular 10-20 years ago …It just makes you feel good. They take those old songs and they do them some justice. It’s not about originality or current pop appeal, it’s about the type of performance that is best suited for Broadway, or someone who can become an understudy of Celine Dion in Vegas. Dramatic emotion-evoking performances = winners.

Now, if originality produced the winner, that little girl with the Minnie Mouse bows would be a the winner. Right?